Mom’s letter to teen who taught her daughter how to skateboard is all kinds of awesome
In an open letter on Twitter the mother of a 6 years-old girl thanks the teenage boy who took time to help her daughter skate (Hagerman, 2015). In the article the mother explains how it took her time to convince her daughter that skateboarding was not just an activity for boys (Hagerman, 2015). “I told her that there is no such things as girl things or boy things, there are just things” (Hagerman, 2015). “If it interests her, she can do it” (Hagerman, 2015). After convincing her daughter that she in fact could skate the mother took her daughter to the local skate park, which was full of teenage boys (Hagerman, 2015). The little girl felt a little intimated by the older boys who were described by the mother as engaging in smoking and swearing (Hagerman, 2015). After reassuring her daughter the little girl began to skate(Hagerman, 2015). It was not long before a teenage boy approached her daughter and told her feet were in the wrong position (Hagerman, 2015). He asked if he could help her (Hagerman, 2015). The mother states the teenage boy spent an hour with her daughter coaching her and helping her up when she fell (Hagerman, 2015). She indicates the actions of the teenager gave her daughter confidence and now she loves to go to the skate park (Hagerman, 2015). The mother thanks the teenager in an open letter stating “I want to thank you for being kind to my daughter, even though your friends made fun of you for it” (Hagerman, 2015).
There are a few aspects of this article that I would like to discuss. The social construction of boys and girls activities, acceptable behavior and confidence is the first topic I would like to broach. The little girl in the article is just 6 years-old and already she has an understanding of the socially accepted gender roles. Furthermore, these notions impacted the daughter’s behavior (what activities she participated in or was willing to participate in), self-confidence, and construct of community acceptance. I think this is something as a society we must examine in more depth. As the mother pointed out there are no boy and girl activities just activities and you can participate in activities that interest you regardless of your gender. Yet children, from a very young age, are socialized to fulfill gender roles that emphasize what activities they can/should and cannot/should not participate in.
Second, the article noted that the boy’s peers teased him for taking time to help the little girl. This illustrates several points raised in the film the Masks We Live In. It emphasizes the devaluation of women that becomes part of the socialization process for boys. Why take the time to teach a girl? It also illustrates how behaviors labeled as feminine are rejected as agents that strip men of their masculinity. The teenager employed nurturing skills, teaching skills and empathy when interacting with the little girl. He also took part in childrearing to a certain degree, since actives related to children are viewed as a feminine responsibility. The teenager also treated the little girl as an equal. In response his male counterparts mocked him. The teenager, his friends and his friends’ reactions to his behavior demonstrate the hierarchy of masculinity that is formed in childhood and the repercussions for breaking rules of masculinity as defined by the hierarchy. Of course, I can only speculate on the reasons behind his counterparts’ responses, since the article did not mention how the teenager was mocked, but the situation still brings much discussion to the table.
Finally, as mentioned above the little girl’s self-confidence, social construct of community acceptance, and social concept of gender activities were directly impacted by the teenager’s actions to teach the little girl as an equal. This demonstrates the role men have in creating gender equality by taking a stance against social constructs of masculinity even when that may be a risk for the individual male. For the teenager, his stance to help, teach and treat the little girl as an equal were risks for him as an individual, which went against the norms of the social constructions of masculinity and femininity. He was teased for his efforts by other males. Yet, he was able to create confidence and instill a love of skating in a little girl, who now, through his demonstration, understands that there are no female or male activities, but rather just activities. Individuals can have an interest in activities and participate in actives that interest them regardless of gender. All individuals, regardless of gender, must work together to promote gender equality. It is often those who are afford the most privilege that can open the doors for discuss and change.
Hagerman, Hilary. 2015. “Mom’s letter to teen who taught her daughter how to skateboard is all kinds of awesome.” Yahoo News, October 21, 2015. Retrieved October 25, 2015 (https://www.yahoo.com/news/one-group-people-acquiring-hiv-204557712.html)