Problems (and some solutions) for same-sex parents/couples

Hey everyone,

I found an article that addresses some of the legal obstacles same-sex parents have to overcome resulting from a lack of federal recognition as a “real” married couple.  The article identifies Kay and Amanda Shelton, who for all intents and purposes, are a married couple with two children.  They live together, they divide up child-care responsibilities, and one woman (Amanda, a commercial litigator) even claims her (unemployed) partner as a dependent when filing taxes.

This article lays out three domains that serve to be more complicated to this same-sex couple than would be for a different-sex couple.  It explains that (1) legal parenting rights are not easily obtained by the non-biological mother (despite the fact that the children call her “mommy,” and the biological mother wouldn’t trust her children with anyone else); (2) because the couple is not “actually” married, Amanda (the money-earning half of the couple) cannot contribute to Kay’s retirement in any form of spousal I.R.A. account; and (3) because they are not legally married, the couple cannot file jointly, resulting in an extra several thousand dollars that must be paid to taxes.

While these issues are unfair, the article does offer a hint of optimism by explaining that several of these issues can be circumvented through various means; for example though Amanda cannot contribute to a spousal I.R.A. for Kay, she can “hire” Kay as a nanny, which allows for certain itemized tax deductions.  Similarly, by obtaining “power of attorney for parental authority,” Kay can officially act on the behalf of the children with things like doctor and teacher visits.

So, while it is depressing to find that same-sex couples face such complications with regard to legality and finances, it is nice to know that there are some loopholes through which they can maneuver.  Just because these loopholes are available, however, doesn’t make up for the fact that same-sex couples still have to “jump through hoops” to get the same kind of privileges a (potentially less “qualified”) different-sex couple receives automatically.  I think this article can serve as a good “wake-up call” for different-sex couples, shining some light on the fact that not everyone gets the federal recognition they likely take for granted.

Thanks,

Stephen