Gender Roles are not something new to society. These stereotypes have been passed down to each generation to further perpetuate. They affect how each gender interacts with one another and also affect how each gender carries themselves. Why are certain traits associated with a specific gender?
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Ted Talk called “We Should All Be Feminists” does a great job at addressing gender roles in society today. Adichie states that boys and girls are socialized differently which is true. Girls are raised to aspire for marriage and to cater to men and their feelings. Women are suppose to put their dreams on hold and be at the mercy of men. This is something that is seen in different cultures around the world, including the United States. This similar concept was brought forward in Shehada (2016) article. In Jordan, when women get married, their husband offers the bride a dowry. In exchange for the dowry, the women are obligated to obey their husbands. If they disobey their husbands, then their husband is not obligated to support them financially. From an outsider looking in, this is not right. The rights of women should not be held in the hands of men. Because this is a cultural custom, girls are raised to accept this type of behavior. Adichie touches on this in her video.
Another point made by Adichie is how money is tied to masculinity. It is a gender role that has been imposed on men. Boys are raised to be masculine and avoid expressing feelings. If men do not live up to this stereotype, they are seen as less than. I believe that this has played a factor in why traditions like the dowry are still active. While the meaning of dowry varies in different countries, in Jordan, a man in exerting his power. Especially, if he gives a high dowry. The more money you have, the more of a man you are.
This same concept can be used for why men are abusive in relationships. They are trying to prove a point. They want to be seen as manly. The ideas of being a man is something boys have been socialized to be at an young age. I would also say media has played a role in the idea of “being a man”. A majority of times, the media gives a negative message about women. We are seen as less than. This is through music, games, movies, etc. It also does not help that the president of the United States has said negative things about women. Unfortunately, people look up to him which is very problematic. He is reinforcing these negative narratives about women.
We need to change the cultural around gender roles. Adichie made her final point about this. “Cultural does not make people, people make culture”. Men and Women should not have to abide to certain gender roles just because society says that’s how it should be. It is holding us back as a society. Men and Women should be able to act in any way they would like instead of people placing gender roles upon them to make them act their gender. We need to socialize boys and girl in a way that is healthy and does not bring a divide amongst them. Boys need to be told that they can show emotion and that is doesn’t make them any less of a man and girls need to be told that they do not have to cater to men and their feelings.