Annual IEP meetings are an essential component of providing an appropriate education for a child with a disability. They are the vehicle that allows us to develop plans specific to each child, which is the beauty of special education. So why do we dread them? The amount of information that must be covered can be daunting. It can feel overwhelming as a parent to be part of a team of professionals who do this every day.
As a parent, there are a few simple things you can do to prepare for an IEP meeting that will help you to be ready to participate fully in your child’s meeting and achieve the best outcomes.
1. Be prepared
Think about what you would like to discuss before you get into the meeting. You can bring notes, previous report cards, IEPs, and evaluations for easy reference. Write down any questions you may have and specific topics you want to make sure to discuss.
2. Ask for proposed goals before the meeting.
This will give you time to read and think deeply about what is being considered for your child. You may then collect your thoughts, process your emotions, and prepare alternatives.
3. Ask questions
Remember, this meeting is about your child! Helpful “I” statements include:
I don’t understand. I need you to explain ___.
I need to know exactly what you mean when you say _____.
I need you to be more specific about ________.
4. Ask for what you need
Whether you would like a copy of documents to look at, the pace of the meeting to slow down, or a break, speak up. IEP meetings can sometimes take on a life of their own so don’t be afraid to make reasonable requests.
5. Control emotions
In any given moment, thoughts of our children will bring up emotions. Funny memories or times of frustration, and emotion is natural for parents when thinking about or discussing their children. When in a meeting to discuss what is best for your child, emotion can get in the way of what you are trying to accomplish. By preparing for the meeting and asking questions, you can help to stay focused on your vision for your child which will help the team to share in your vision. If emotions take the lead, you are not able to listen and think clearly, and it interferes with decision-making.
6. Focus on your child
It can be tempting to use examples of the services other students are getting to make requests for your child. Remember that every student is different, and the discussion should only be about your child.
7. Be open-minded
The beauty of working with an IEP team is that everyone has your child’s best interests at heart and each person represents a different set of knowledge and experience. There may be points of view or ideas from other members of the group that feels contrary to your vision at first, but with some additional thought may be good options.
8. State your need or concern, not a request for a specific service
Just as with #7 above, keeping an open mind about how to address a need or concern for your child is important. Stating your concern opens the discussion for a variety of possible solutions
and avoids potential disagreement with the specific service mentioned. For example, it may be tempting to request occupational therapy services for your child’s letter reversals and lack of spacing. However, by simply stating that you have noticed it and would like to talk about services may trigger many ideas to help your child that are not limited to what is provided by an occupational therapist.
9. Remember relationships
Relationships between you and school providers are of critical importance to the success of your child. This does not mean that you will never disagree. It does mean that when disagreements occur, remembering the benefits to your child that come from a team that is respectful and committed to working together can help you to overcome and work through the situation.
Dr. Michele Handley
School Director
Eastern North Carolina School for the Deaf