Politicians Joking (Mostly) about Themselves

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” (Abraham Lincoln)

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

“Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, “On the one hand …on the other hand…” (Harry Truman)

“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” (Ronald Reagan)

“Being president is like running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening.” (Bill Clinton)